Social Isolation and Loneliness

How does isolation and loneliness affect health?

Social isolation is more damaging to your health than excess body weight and not being physically active.

Isolation, loneliness, and other types of mental distress can cause physical changes to your body. Just like other health conditions, these physical changes can increase inflammation and cause serious problems over time.

Research shows social isolation can be as harmful to your health as smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day.  

Physical effects of social isolation

Social isolation increases your risk of:

• Heart disease
• Stroke
• Diabetes
• Infection
• Dementia
• Depression and anxiety
• Self-harm and thoughts of suicide

Physical effects of good social connection

Social connections are the relationships and interactions we have from day to day.

Just like social isolation can have a negative effect on your health, building social connections and meaningful relationships can have a positive effect. These connections have physical benefits and can even boost your immune system.

This happens in 3 main ways:

Your body

Social connection can affect your hormones and levels of inflammation.

Your mind

Social connection improves stress and triggers “feel-good” chemicals in your brain like oxytocin and serotonin. It can also improve your sense of safety, meaning, purpose, and resilience (your ability to cope with difficult things).

Your behaviors

People with good social connections get more physical activity, have better nutrition and sleep, and are less likely to use tobacco.

Social connections and managing your cancer

Increasing your social connections can also be an important part of managing your cancer.

This is because people with positive social connections are more likely to engage in healthy behaviors like physical activity and eating nutritious foods. They are also more likely to get preventive health care, including vaccinations and cancer screening tests.

There are many ways to build positive social connections. It is more about the quality of your social connections, not the quantity (amount).

Some examples of positive social connections are:

• Friendships
• Romantic relationships
• Family relationships
• Coworkers and colleagues
• Community, sports, or volunteer groups
• Faith or church groups
• Everyday conversations with strangers

Tips for managing isolation and loneliness

Just like other health problems, it’s important to manage isolation and loneliness so it doesn’t get worse. Reaching out and being vulnerable with other people builds meaningful connections. These connections can help you create a sense of belonging. They can make you feel valued and less alone. Here are a few things you can do to take care of yourself and stay connected:

Join a support group

Look for an online or in-person support group for people with cancer (or their caregivers). Connecting with people who know what you’re going through can be comforting.

Sign up for an activity or class

Sign up for an activity or class. You can learn something new and meet other people who share your interests.

Check in with people 

Make time to reach out and check in on other people. Call or text someone who might also be feeling lonely or isolated. Supporting others can help you feel less alone, too.

Be present with others

When you spend time with people, put away distractions. This shows others you value their time and appreciate your conversations with them. These types of interactions help build quality relationships.

Act with kindness and respect

Try to remember that other people in your life might be lonely too, even if it doesn’t seem like they are. Just as you have many thoughts and feelings no one knows about, so does everyone around you.

Don’t assume someone isn’t lonely because of who they are or how they appear on the outside. Sometimes, we intentionally or unintentionally hide the sad or lonely parts of ourselves from the outside world and social media.

Try mindfulness-based activities

Studies show that certain mindfulness-based activities can improve social connectivity and decrease feelings of loneliness.

Mindfulness is about noticing and being present with your thoughts, emotions, body, and the world around you. Our minds distract us from the present moment all the time, so it’s easy to get caught up in thoughts about the past or future.

Mindfulness takes lots of repeated and intentional practice, but it can help you stay in the moment. Noticing more around you (such as in nature, moments of joy, or even moments of grief) can help you feel more connected to the world.

Mindfulness also encourages self-reflection (thinking about your own thoughts and actions). This can help you better understand why you feel lonely, what you want more of in your life, and how you can become more connected to others.

Learn more about practicing mindfulness and relaxation.

Meet your community

Check with your local public library or community center for groups and events in your neighborhood. This might include social events, community service, or clubs with other people who are looking to connect.

What are “third places” and how can they reduce loneliness?

Third places are another important part of managing loneliness and social isolation. A third place is any public space where people gather (other than work, home, or school).

Third places are a great way to connect with people at your own pace. At a third place, you can choose to talk and interact with people, or you can choose to be around other people without talking to them.

Some third places shown to improve loneliness include:

• Coffee shops, cafes, and restaurants
• Museums, libraries, and parks
• Churches and faith centers
• Social and sports clubs
• Salons and barbershops
• Community, youth, and senior centers

If you aren’t ready to talk to others or jump into a class, you can simply spend time together in a shared space like a coffee shop. You still benefit from being around others even if you never talk to them.

What can caregivers, friends, and family do to help?

It’s hard to know how to help someone who feels lonely or isolated. But even a small gesture can make a big difference. Here are some ideas:

Invite them to talk about their cancer (or not)

Tell them it’s okay to talk with you about their cancer. They might not bring it up because they don’t want to burden you. Let them know you are here to listen.

Tell them it’s okay if they don’t want to talk about their cancer. They might want to talk about things that make them feel “normal,” like what’s going on at work or a show you’re watching.

Meet them where they are

Ask them if they want advice or if they just want support. If they aren’t looking for advice, try not to give it. Resist the urge to try to cheer them up or fix them. Meet them where they are and just hold space for them to share without judgement.

If you don’t know what to say, that’s okay

If you freeze or don’t know what to say, you can just tell the truth: “I don’t even know what to say, but I care about you so much and I’m here for you.”

Be open about your own feelings and fears

Be open with them. If you’re scared, tell them. Hiding it doesn’t make the situation any better. Hearing how you feel might help them see they aren’t alone.

Seek out short moments of human connection

Don’t be afraid to touch, hug, or shake hands (if the other person is okay with this). These short moments of human connection can mean a lot to someone with cancer who is feeling alone.

Ask them what they need

Ask them for 3 specific things you can do to be there for them. This could be doing a load of laundry, bringing their favorite treat, or grabbing dinner and talking.

Offer to help with chores

Offer to help with things they need to get done around the house, like grabbing groceries or taking care of a pet. This way, you’ll spend time together while also helping with their to-do list.

Find ways to connect virtually

If you can’t be there in person, virtual connections can help someone feel less alone. Even if you do spend time together in person, online games and apps are another chance to connect.

Keep sending invitations

Don’t stop inviting someone to do things just because they have cancer. Simply being included and invited is meaningful, even if they can’t go.

Take care of yourself, too

Caregivers, friends, and family of people with cancer can also feel isolated and lonely. These tips apply to you, too.

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